*Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with "How to dress professionally" but I was inspired to write it, so here it is
Yesterday as I scrolled down my endless
Facebook news feed, I couldn't help but notice how many of my friends had shared
an article entitled “23 Things to do
Instead of Getting Engaged Before you’re 23.” As someone who recently
became engaged on my 24th birthday, I was curious to read the
article everyone was so quick to share. As I read it, frankly, I was disappointed
that I had wasted my time. The article goes on and on judging couples who
choose to get married early, referring to it as a “cop out.” Yet, I still wanted
to give the article the benefit of the doubt. I thought, it’s called “23 Things
To Do…” so maybe the awesome list of “musts” would justify her moody,
judgmental article. Then, I was disappointed again.
The list includes things such as “start
a band”, “cut your hair”, and “sign up for CrossFit”….what?! 1) who says I want
to do 90% of the things on this list, and 2) Why can’t I do the 10% that seems
semi-interesting with the person I love?
Look, I get it, it is important to
know who you are before you meet someone and spend your whole life with them
because forever is a long time and we all owe it to ourselves to be who we are
but not everyone is meant to do the same things. It is difficult for me to
understand why someone would write an article clumping all young couples into
one category. The article states that marriage:
“… is a way for young people to hide behind a significant
other instead of dealing with life’s highs and lows on their own. It’s a safety
blanket. It’s an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal
with it on your own; thus, you now have someone that is legally obligated to
support you till one of you dies or files for divorce.” She goes on to say it is "insane that I have already experienced more of the world in the last 22 years than my married peers will ever experience in their life"
I think that is ridiculous! Sure,
there are young couples who get married for all the wrong reasons, but there
are also 30 and 40 and 50 year olds who get married for all the wrong reasons
(you can be lonely, a gold digger, or a
lunatic at any age). What I feel that this girl doesn't understand is that yes,
her life is great, and good for her, it’s not easy to be in another country
alone exploring and living and I respect her for that, but my life is just as
awesome, and I bet many of my married and engaged friends 23 and under would
say the same. I have traveled, been away for college, I am continuing with higher education (which according to the article is not a "trend" when you are young and married or engaged) and I do not plan on stopping because I all of a sudden have a ring on my finger. My sister got married at
the age of 22, yes, I agree she was young, but I have literally never seen her
happier. She lives a full life with love and responsibilities and she knows EXACTLY
who she is, her marriage never stopped her journey to self-discovery.
I have been in a relationship for 7
years. We found each other at a young age, some would say it is too young but
what the author of the other article fails to realize is that when you are in
love, truly 100% in love and devoted to someone, life is better with them than
without them. I would give up 10 trips to China to spend a full day with my fiancée,
and if I ever had the opportunity to travel somewhere, I would enjoy it so much
more if I could share it with him. I know who I am. Marriage is not a cop out,
marriage is difficult, marriage is work, but people do it because it’s worth it,
because their significant other makes them better. If you find the right
person, they should not stop you from growing and learning, they should love
you for who you are at the moment as well as for who you will grow to be. The article
suggests waiting even if you think that you have found the one, but why? Life
is short and you never know what can happen so I say, if you are single, live
your life, travel, explore, read, learn about different cultures and languages, meditate, “start
a band” if you so choose and if you are engaged or married, do the same because
no one is stopping you.
